When Coincidences Follow Prayer: Discerning a Call to the Diaconate

Two unexpected encounters may invite a question—but Catholic discernment tests a possible vocation through prayer, service, and the Church.

A man I know from church has served in ministry for some time. He told me, “I feel like my gifts have been working powerfully for those I serve. At the same time, I feel an amazing sense of reward in service to them. I’d like to do more.” He had been praying about that desire for a while.

Most recently, he brought the question to Eucharistic Adoration. The following Sunday, while he was serving, a retired Catholic priest from Ireland asked him, “Are you a deacon?” The next Sunday, as he entered the church for Mass, the principal of the parish school mistakenly greeted him as “the deacon assistant.”

What should he make of those moments? Were they coincidences? Could they have encouraged him to pay attention to a desire already growing in his heart? It is understandable to wonder. But the Catholic answer is neither to dismiss them automatically nor to declare, “God has given me a sign; the decision is made.” A possible sign can prompt discernment. It does not replace it.

Providence is not a code to crack

Catholics trust that God is present and active in creation and in our lives. The Catechism teaches that God’s providence works through the cooperation of His creatures (CCC 303–308). That means ordinary events and human relationships can become occasions for reflection. It does not mean every coincidence is a hidden message with a guaranteed interpretation.

The Catechism also warns against superstition: treating religious practices or signs as though they worked by a kind of magic (CCC 2111). We do not need to fear that warning or suppress gratitude for a striking moment. We simply avoid turning a question, a mistaken title, or a coincidence into proof of what God wants. In this case, the two encounters may be worth remembering, but they cannot by themselves establish a vocation.

Discernment begins with prayer, but it also asks for honesty, patience, wise counsel, and attention to the Church’s teaching. Saint John says, “Do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits” (1 John 4:1). Saint Paul similarly advises, “Test everything; hold fast what is good” (1 Thessalonians 5:21).

What is the call to the diaconate?

A deacon is ordained for service. The Catechism describes the deacon’s ministry in the liturgy, the proclamation of the Gospel, and works of charity (CCC 1570). Jesus gives the pattern for this ministry when He tells His disciples, “I am among you as one who serves” (Luke 22:27). Acts 6:1–6 describes the early Church setting apart men for service to the community, and 1 Timothy 3:8–13 gives guidance concerning the character expected of deacons.

A desire “to do more” can be a good beginning, especially when it grows from love of Christ and care for the people being served. But a strong sense of fulfillment, gifts that seem useful, or other people’s encouragement do not alone settle the question. A vocation includes both the person’s prayerful response and the Church’s discernment. The Catechism reminds us that no one has a right to receive Holy Orders or claims the office for himself; he must be called to it (CCC 1578).

Questions that can help clarify the desire

Rather than asking only, “Was that a sign?” the man might ask:

• Do I desire to serve Christ and His Church, or am I mainly drawn by recognition, title, or the feeling of being needed?
• Are my gifts and life experience bearing steady fruits of charity, humility, patience, and fidelity?
• Do people who know my service well—including my pastor and trusted members of the parish—see a possible fit with diaconal ministry?
• Can I accept formation, correction, and the Church’s judgment, even if the answer is “not now” or “not this vocation”?
• Have I considered how formation and ministry would affect my family, work, health, and other responsibilities?

These questions are not a test that he must pass alone. They are starting points for prayerful conversation with his pastor and the Diocese of Providence’s Permanent Deacon Formation Program. Learning about the program is an appropriate next step; it is not a promise that he must apply or that he will be ordained.

Look for the fruits, and seek wise counsel

Jesus teaches that a tree is known by its fruit (Matthew 7:16–20). Saint Paul names the fruit of the Spirit as “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22–23). These qualities do not prove someone is called to the diaconate, but they help a person examine whether his service is drawing him and others toward Christ.

He can talk openly with his pastor, a spiritual director, and people who have seen him serve. He should also speak with his family, especially if he is married, because a vocation and its formation affect the household as well as the individual. The diocesan formation team can explain the actual requirements and help him understand how the Church evaluates a possible call.

When praying, he might ask not for another unmistakable coincidence but for the grace to see clearly: “Lord, if You are calling me to this ministry, help me take the next faithful step. If You are calling me to serve in another way, help me recognize and embrace that too.” Saint James encourages us to ask God for wisdom (James 1:5).

A possible encouragement, not a final answer

The retired priest’s question and the school principal’s mistake may have given this man a memorable moment. Perhaps they will remain simply two unusual interactions. Perhaps they will encourage him to explore a desire that was already present. Either way, the safest Catholic response is the same: receive the moments with gratitude, resist overinterpreting them, and continue discerning through prayer, service, counsel, and the Church’s formation process.

God’s call is not measured by how many coincidences appear. The deeper question is whether a life of humble service is taking shape—and whether the Church, after careful discernment, confirms that call. Whatever the outcome, a man who keeps serving Christ and neighbor is already responding to an important part of the Gospel.

Scripture and Catechism references

• Scripture: Acts 6:1–6; Matthew 7:16–20; Luke 22:27; 1 Timothy 3:8–13; Galatians 5:22–23; James 1:5; 1 John 4:1; 1 Thessalonians 5:21.
• Catechism of the Catholic Church: CCC 303–308 (Divine Providence and human cooperation); CCC 2111 (superstition); CCC 1570 (the ministry of deacons); CCC 1578 (the call to Holy Orders).