We are what we do, not what we used to

How to Stop Living by Default and Start Living by Design

It is so very common to get caught up in our past — both in our failures and our successes. We dwell on the negative and relish in the positive, but through it all end up stalled out and inactive. The questions we ask ourselves breed feelings of powerlessness, regret, and helplessness.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." — 2 Corinthians 5:17

Sometimes it sounds like this: "I had all that once — the company car, the expense account, all the luxuries that came with them. But I’ll never have that again." Perhaps we find comfort in a "been there, done that" attitude toward past accomplishments — using it to mask our most recent perceived failure. But convincing others that it doesn’t matter to us anymore does nothing to change the negative feelings we carry around quietly all day.

In the most common scenario, we do the opposite: we complain — loudly and repeatedly — about how we have not and never will have anything we truly desire. We grumble daily to ourselves and others about how nothing ever works out and nobody cares. This is what is called a victim stance — and it is one of the most effective ways to attract everything we do not want.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." — Philippians 4:6

The Anchor of Dwelling on Mistakes

The other great cause of inactivity is the habit of continuously dwelling on our mistakes. This process locks our concentration on undesirable past events and the negative emotions tied to them — and in doing so, causes us to reproduce similar circumstances and forfeit our future. We tell ourselves:

• "They wouldn’t want someone like me in their lives."
• "I just don’t have the education required for that."
• "It’s too late. I’m too old to change."

These are lies — and the Catechism is clear about where lies originate and what they do to the human soul:

"Sin is an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods." — CCC 1849

Attachment to a false image of ourselves — one built on past failures and the opinions of others — is precisely this kind of perverse attachment. It is a failure to receive the truth of who God says we are.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." — Jeremiah 29:11

Passion Is the Soul’s Recognition of God’s Gift

When we get truly honest with ourselves and recognize who we are right now, there are no limits to who we will be tomorrow. Our only real limits are what we believe — with everything we are — to be impossible. Once we consciously choose to ask for what we want, believe we are worthy of it, and accept that we can be all we were created to be — we begin to live a life full of passion.

Passion is the soul’s recognition of God’s gift. It is the unique endowment we were conceived with — incorporated into His original plan for us long before we took our first breath. This is the essence of all we are created to be. It is the place, absent of time, where all things joyful continually exist. We recognize it by the emotions it produces: peace, joy, and energy. It is when hours seem like minutes and work feels like play. This is what we are meant to do.

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." — Ephesians 2:10

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace." — 1 Peter 4:10

When we buy into the self-perpetuated illusions we paint of ourselves — often through the distorted lens of how we imagine others perceive us — we avoid, delay, and ultimately fail to complete the divine design we were made to fulfill. We mistake the ego’s chosen path for the easier road, when in reality it is the harder one. We struggle and strain down the path we selected, driven by pride, while God’s itinerary — smooth, purposeful, and effortless — waits just beside us.

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." — Matthew 11:29–30

Out of Whack

I once commented on a conversation between Andy Andrews and Gail Hyatt around the question: "Why do we say something is ‘out of whack’? What is a ‘whack’ anyway?"

Here is what I believe it means: we are out of alignment. Like when we drift from Truth and begin to feel lost and disconnected. Negative feelings grow stronger. We no longer feel good. When we are in alignment, we feel the very best we can feel.

Think of it like a car that needs alignment. The steering wheel is pulling in the wrong direction. The car drifts off the road. There is excessive vibration and tire wear. The journey becomes difficult and exhausting. But after a visit to the mechanic — all fixed up — we experience smooth, effortless travel. The vehicle operates exactly as it was designed to.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." — Proverbs 3:5–6

The Catechism speaks to this alignment in terms of conscience and right reason — the interior compass God has placed within every human soul:

"Deep within his conscience man discovers a law which he has not laid upon himself but which he must obey. Its voice, ever calling him to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil, sounds in his heart at the right moment... For man has in his heart a law inscribed by God." — CCC 1776

To be “whack” is to be out of that alignment — inefficient, ineffective, and quietly miserable. We feel it. The job is whack. The relationship is whack. The life feels whack. That discomfort is not punishment. It is signal — God’s built-in feedback system telling us we have drifted.

Get Back on Track — Right Now

In order to realign, we must accept one foundational truth: the past is gone. It no longer exists. What we have done is done. But today — right now, this very moment — we can choose to become what we do. We are not what we used to do. We are what we do from here.

"Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." — Philippians 3:13–14

If we have made a habit of choices that did not align with God’s plan, we can begin right now to make different ones. As we begin to make righteous choices, our experiences will improve. It starts with what we believe — about God, about ourselves, and about what is possible.

So let’s pull out the manual. Scripture — God’s own instruction — has everything we need to put the parts back where they belong. By following His guidance, we find our way along the path we were intended to follow. We are the vehicle. He has the key. And He has been waiting — patiently, lovingly — for us to hand it over.

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." — Psalm 119:105

Remember: we are each unique. What works for others may not work for us. What brings happiness to someone else may leave us cold. Do not buy into their illusion. God did not create you to live someone else’s life. He created you — specifically, intentionally, irreversibly — to live yours.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you." — Jeremiah 1:5

We are what we do — not what we used to. Start doing.