More Time
We Always Think We Have More Time Than We Do
I remember those words as they were spoken to me by an old woman in an antique shop several years ago. They rang true then. Today, they seem even more so.
On this first day of August, I am feeling as though I have just lost my best friend. He has accomplished all that he was sent here to do — and he has ascended. It is a new beginning in a journey that will have no end.
"I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live." — John 11:25
The Antique Shop
As I think back to that day and remember the old widow, I recall the strange experience that followed. Several weeks had passed since the day I bought my grey ceramic elephant planter in her shop. When I returned to that small Connecticut town, I found the shop was closed. Since I had been so captivated by the woman and the wisdom she carried, I had looked forward to the visit. I stopped at a few neighboring stores to ask when she might return.
The answers I received stopped me cold: "That antique shop has not been open for years."
It would seem I had been visited by an angel — one who was letting me know, in her own quiet way, that a friendship I cherished was coming to an end. The time had run its course. The purpose of that person in my life had been fulfilled. They were an essential part of the rebirth of my spirit — the one who helped foster the renewal of all that I am.
"Are they not all ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation?" — Hebrews 1:14
The Catechism affirms what so many of us sense instinctively — that angels are real, active participants in our lives and our journey toward God:
"From its beginning until death, human life is surrounded by their watchful care and intercession. Beside each believer stands an angel as protector and shepherd leading him to life." — CCC 336
When the Spiritual Went into Remission
It was during that season of my life that my connection to the spiritual realm had been rediscovered. The small, seemingly insignificant happenings suddenly made sense. The mysteries, the synchronicities, the visitations — they were explained. My insight into the reality of all that exists had been magnified a hundredfold.
When I was eight years old, I knew things. My parents and family never spoke of it openly, but they all knew how deeply connected I was. As time passed and I grew older, that gift seemed to go into remission. I can only assume it was caused by a shift in consciousness — from the spiritual to the physical. Mainstream society had convinced a young man that happiness would come through the accumulation of possessions and the admiration of others. And so I got on board. I would live today for what I thought I wanted tomorrow.
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." — 1 John 2:15
Six months. That is generally how long it would take before the perceived joy of anything I thought would make me happy began to fade. People, places, things — it applied to all of them. After six months I would find myself exactly where I started: empty and seeking answers. It is remarkable, isn’t it, how many times we will walk down the same road expecting to find something different there.
"Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity." — Ecclesiastes 1:2
The coping mechanism during those in-between times was always the same: eat, drink, and pretend to be merry. Anything to avoid confronting the reality of the life we kept creating. We forfeited the joy of today for the hope of tomorrow. We numbed ourselves in the present with the quiet faith that relief would come later.
"There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God." — Ecclesiastes 2:24
By following this formula religiously, we had anchored ourselves in inaction. Never allowing ourselves to be all we were created to be robbed us of the natural joy of the present moment. We ran on a proverbial treadmill and got nowhere fast. The blessings did not come because we were not where we needed to be. Our lives were on hold. The path waited. And God’s gifts remained unwrapped and unused.
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." — Ephesians 2:10
Stepping Off the Treadmill
One day I decided to step off. I picked up a college application, filled it out, and mailed it away. Soon I found myself on the path I was always intended to follow. It was there that I would find my life — and my wife. Everything I needed to leave the past behind was given to me.
The most difficult part of that transition was watching the friends I held so dear begin to slowly drift away. As our lives change, so do the people in them. This is not a matter of choice. Like attracts like. As our thoughts and actions change, so does our vibration — and those who remain anchored in the old way will remain there, while those who match who we are becoming will be drawn to us. This is the law God has written into creation, and it is not subject to negotiation.
"Do not be deceived: bad company ruins good morals." — 1 Corinthians 15:33
I tried to resist it, but I could not. Doing the same old things became increasingly impossible. It was torture to sit in the old redundant rhythms of a life I was growing beyond. The joy I once perceived in those things was gone — forever.
But friendships forged in the deep places of the soul are another matter entirely. With some people, time can pass — weeks, months, even years — and when you come together again, it is as though no time has passed at all. These are our soul mates. The ones we confide in. The ones who understand. Eventually, we surrender to the law and allow each other to be who we are called to be. And yet we are always there for one another in difficulty — because when the timing is right, God always provides the opportunity.
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." — Proverbs 17:17
The Transformation of an Eternal Friendship
Unlike the friendship that had run its course back when the woman in the antique shop first spoke to me, this time my friendship would not simply end — it would be transformed. His presence would leap from the physical realm to the spiritual, in what I can only describe as the process of his ascension. And while the old woman’s words still rang true, for me they applied only to our time here on earth.
We always think we have more time than we do.
He was in my thoughts that Saturday at a car show, as my sister and I reminisced about his 1966 Impala SS and the times we spent together before he left. I thought about stopping by to visit. I drove through the old neighborhood, past his old home, full of memories. And then I told myself: maybe later.
We all know how that story ends.
There was no later. The time to sit with my dear friend in the physical had passed. Today, my contact with him is in the spiritual realm. His presence touches me like a vibration of energy, and I know — with the essence of all that I am — that he is free.
"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful ones." — Psalm 116:15
"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." — Romans 8:38–39
The Catechism speaks tenderly of the communion that remains between those who have gone before us and those of us still on the way:
"The union of the wayfarers with the brethren who sleep in the peace of Christ is in no way interrupted, but on the contrary, according to the constant faith of the Church, this union is reinforced by an exchange of spiritual goods." — CCC 955
We always think we have more time than we do. Make the call. Pay the visit. Say the thing that needs to be said. The gift of the present moment is the only one we are guaranteed.
"Now is the acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation." — 2 Corinthians 6:2