Curse or Character
Sin, Choice, and the Formation of the Soul
"Character is one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual." — Merriam-Webster
So if sin is a symptom, what is the disease? In order to answer that question, we must first take a very close look at character. Character is, in actuality, the essence of all that we are. It is from here that we determine what choices we will make.
What is it that truly distinguishes us from everyone else? Is it the clothes we wear? The positions we hold? The community in which we live? Those would all be reasonable guesses — and they can certainly be a result of our character. But they are not its source. They have little to do with the essence of who we actually are.
"The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." — 1 Samuel 16:7
The Company We Keep
Chances are that right now, we are in the company of people who match the vibration of our character. As we change our thoughts — as we change the way we look at the world — the people around us will change too. Old friends and acquaintances will slowly disappear from our daily lives. New people will begin to enter our world. We will often struggle with this, and that is completely understandable. It is our nature to hold on to what we have. But rest assured: there will always be a place for our truest soul mates. The visits may grow less frequent, but they will always be there.
There are certain people brought into our lives for a reason. They become an essential part of who we are. They are always there for us as we are for them. We never hold back our thoughts from one another and speak freely on everything. When we are on the wrong path, they will tell us — even if it means risking the friendship. They know our strengths and our weaknesses and love us all the same. As our paths fork off in different directions and the times we share grow fewer and farther between, an intimate connection still exists. Then the Lord provides those wonderful opportunities to come together and laugh, cry, and share the past and present with one another. Whether days, weeks, months, or years have passed, time seems to stand still on the day we reunite in the joy of that friendship. It always feels like we are simply picking up from yesterday. These are our soul mates — given to us by God Himself.
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" — 2 Corinthians 6:14
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." — Proverbs 17:17
The Window of the Tongue
People have various internal and external characteristics. Some external characteristics are naturally born, indigenous, or sociological — others are a reflection of choice. The ones of choice are the clearest window into the internal characteristics of a person. But it is the tongue that is the far superior tool for revealing the character of the soul. It is the undisputed champion in the battle to distinguish who a person truly is.
"What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them." — Matthew 15:11
The Catechism of the Catholic Church addresses this directly, teaching that the virtue of truthfulness — and the proper use of speech — belongs to the very justice we owe one another:
"The virtue of truthfulness gives another just what he is due. Truthfulness keeps to the just mean between what ought to be expressed and what ought to be kept secret: it entails honesty and discretion." — CCC 2469
As our character changes, so does our language. We begin to change on the inside, and this is inevitably reflected on the outside. This is where our rebirth and renewal begin.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." — Ephesians 4:29
Sin Is a Choice
I spoke earlier of symptoms, and language certainly falls into that category. But it is the deficiency of righteous character that is the disease. Our character determines our choices. And it is from character that we choose to sin. You heard me right: sin is a choice.
The Catechism is unambiguous on this point:
"Sin is an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is a failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods... Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them." — CCC 1849, 1868
In order to make better choices, it is imperative for us to build better character.
We all come standard with the internal guidance system placed in our hearts by the Creator. When we do wrong, an alarm goes off that lets us know. And what does that alarm often tell us? Hide it. Sneak around. Don’t tell anyone. Above all: admit nothing. That inner alarm is what the Church calls conscience — and it is a gift.
"Deep within his conscience man discovers a law which he has not laid upon himself but which he must obey... For man has in his heart a law written by God." — CCC 1776, citing Gaudium et Spes 16
The Hidden Good
Not having a righteous character is not only about doing bad things. It is often about doing good — but needing everyone to know about it. This too exhibits a deficiency of righteous character. It reveals a lack of faith in the power of good deeds. In that case, the only reward received is human acknowledgment — and the thousandfold reward that God promises goes unclaimed. We have taken the small prize on the table and walked past the extraordinary gift waiting behind door number one.
"Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." — Matthew 6:1
"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." — Matthew 6:3–4
Building Righteous Character
So where do we find the information necessary to build a righteous character? One of the greatest sources is Sacred Scripture — the Word of God. Many religious and secular books have drawn from it. Combined with our guiding conscience and the grace of the sacraments, we already possess a remarkable assortment of tools to build a positive, effective character capable of drawing incredible blessings into our lives.
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." — Matthew 22:37–39
The CCC presents the moral virtues — prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance — as the very foundation of righteous character, and reminds us that they are not merely human achievements but gifts that can be deepened by grace:
"The moral virtues are acquired by human effort... they are purified and elevated by divine grace." — CCC 1810
Everything we have and everything we are is composed of the choices we have been making all our lives. When we decide we want to live a better life, we must take the necessary steps to improve our character. Before every choice, we would do well to ask: Is this something I would do to someone I love? How would I feel if this were done to me?
"You can make life into what you want, or life can make you into what it wants. The choice is ours — and even choosing not to choose is a choice." — Paul Calhoun
Ask, and Allow
Choosing not to choose is something many of us do not fully consider. Many times it is by default that we receive what we never actually wanted. The secret is to ask for what we want — and then allow it to happen.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." — Matthew 7:7
Be still. Pay attention to the small gifts that cross our path — sent by God to facilitate our journey. Act on the opportunities. Allow the miracles to materialize from the vibration of our character.
"Be still, and know that I am God." — Psalm 46:10
The curse was never our circumstances. The curse was never other people. The only true curse is a character left unexamined, unformed, and uncommitted to the God who made it.
The good news? Character can always be built. And it is never too late to begin.