Circles and Cycles
Breaking Free from the Patterns That Hold Us Back
Listen — many times we find ourselves caught up in a circle, locked inside a cycle of continuous, repetitive action. Trapped by our own impatience, fears, and indecision, we continuously forfeit the very reward we are seeking.
All that we cherish — everything we hold so dear — begins to feel like a hopeless, unattainable desire. And so, in the interest of playing it safe, we cut our losses and return to the previous situations and circumstances from which we had only mildly motivated ourselves to escape in the first place.
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." — 2 Timothy 1:7
Aspiration and Motivation
Aspiration and motivation are two of the most beautiful words in the English language. Every time I say them I am absorbed by their presence. And that word — presence — is itself a state of being. We often say of someone, "He had such a presence as he walked into the room," or "As she crossed the floor, we all felt her presence." These are people who are being real. They have submitted themselves to all that they were created to be — and in doing so, they vibrate with an energy that everyone around them can feel.
This kind of presence comes from having the utmost confidence in being who you are. We move forward without fear when we allow ourselves to be the person we truly are. Then we can strive ambitiously toward the fountain of our dreams, aspirant in our quest to take hold of all that is ours.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13
Our purpose is clear — but we must set it in motion. We need to build up our internal energies to motivate ourselves and inspire those around us. Believe me: if we do not believe in ourselves, few others will believe in us either.
Aspiration and motivation are the spark that ignites many great journeys. Dreams are nothing without the power within and the guidance above. But these are only the first steps in launching our ship — sails full of the winds of aspiration. The question is: will we move straight toward the horizon? Or will we relinquish our dreams to fear and spend our lives circling the same island?
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." — Joshua 1:9
Blankets of Unrelated Excuses
One of the biggest mistakes I observe is this: aspiring souls cover the truth of their fears with a blanket of unrelated excuses. They find other reasons for the why — anything to avoid confronting their actual fears. The ego wants to be protected and held blameless for the decision to retreat from battle, so it quietly submits to defeat while telling a different story entirely.
We can either face our fears or live in their shadow. If we choose to back off and play it safe, we will always lose. In doing so, we subject ourselves to a limited existence — one confined within a circle of our own perceived limitations.
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." — Romans 12:2
The Catechism identifies this pattern clearly — the way disordered self-love and fear close us off from the fullness of life God intends:
"Man, tempted by the devil, let his trust in his Creator die in his heart and, abusing his freedom, disobeyed God’s command... Harmony with creation is broken: visible creation has become alien and hostile to man." — CCC 397–400
How much are we willing to lose in order to have all that is truly ours? It is easy to blame others for our decision to immobilize ourselves — to relinquish our dreams. But when we state falsehoods to ourselves and others, we seal ourselves inside that circle and submit to a cycle of failure. We find ourselves right back where we started: yearning for advancement, achievement, and aspiration once again. When we fail to address the actual problem, we will never discover the corresponding solution.
"The truth will set you free." — John 8:32
The Lie Takes on a Life of Its Own
Trust me — if we do not come clean about the real reasons behind our choices, we create a false narrative that begins to govern us. We tell ourselves and others half-truths, and as we repeat them, the lies take on a life of their own. They reiterate themselves, prove themselves out, and begin to shape the reality we live in. What we declare, we will inevitably be called upon to prove in time.
"For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap." — Galatians 6:7
A Story About a Friend
Recently, a friend of mine whom I care for deeply reentered the very restrictive circle I have been describing. He has a pattern that continually brings him back to exactly where he does not want to be — far from his dream. Knowing what our passions are is never enough. In order to actualize our gifts, we have to have the courage to move forward without fear of the unseen.
Four times over the past fifteen years I have watched him do exactly the same thing. How many times will we drive down the same road and expect a different destination?
When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
It is genuinely sad to watch. He is always so close to everything he wants — and then retreats to the place where he has much of what he doesn’t want. This time is the hardest. This time he has no one else to blame for what he perceives as failure. He was given a business he had always dreamed of owning — given to him, freely. But when the difficulty came, he decided it was best to go back to where he came from. He walked away from a seed that had already been planted. It just needed a little more time and a little more attention.
Dreams are the promise of tomorrow. Give them the attention they deserve, and they will reciprocate in kind.
"Your faith will be put to the test. You know that when that happens it will produce in you the strength to continue. The strength to keep going must be allowed to finish its work. Then you will be all you should be. You will have everything you need." — James 1:3–4
The Catechism speaks powerfully to the virtue of perseverance — what the Church calls fortitude — as essential to living out our calling:
"Fortitude is the moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good. It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life... The virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions." — CCC 1808
The Circle of Fear
Our minds are powerful — and our thoughts create things. As we tell ourselves and others reasons for our decisions that are only partially true, we become conditioned by those falsehoods. Over time, we hold the lie as truth. And from that place, we may begin to resent the very people we have falsely blamed for our inability to move forward in faith — when in reality, it was our own lack of faith that limited us and drove us back inside the circle bordered by our fears.
Instead of being propelled into our next cycle of ascension, we have chosen once again to exist in a place where we are restricted from becoming all that we were created to be.
"The fire is never really as hot as we think it is, and the water is rarely as cold."
"Perfect love casts out fear." — 1 John 4:18
Move Forward Without Fear
If we truly want to advance toward the Promise, we must travel forward without fear. It is the power from within that will ignite the power from without. If we continuously make the same decisions, we will undoubtedly achieve the same results. As we concentrate on the possibility of loss, we inevitably create failure. It is only by trusting that we are able to realize the full potential of our being.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day... So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." — 2 Corinthians 4:16, 18
Remember, my friends — often we are sent to the feast by way of the fire. The circle does not have to be your home. The cycle can be broken. And the Promise is still there, waiting on the other side of the fear you have not yet faced.
"He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." — Philippians 1:6