Be Flexible

Learning to adapt with faith, prudence, patience, and love when family life and daily responsibilities do not follow our plans.

It is funny how certain things come up at just the right time in our lives. A conversation in the car on the way home, or around the dinner table, can open the door to subjects we might not have considered otherwise. God can use ordinary moments to help us grow, if we are willing to listen.

The things we often take for granted may become the very soil where something good grows. Scripture reminds us that there is “a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). We may not control every interruption or change of plan, but we can ask how to respond with faith and love.

Make plans, but leave room for life

The other day I was juggling my usual schedule. I try to make the most of the time the Lord has given me. I have learned to balance many responsibilities, and faith helps steady me when plans change.

One day a neighbor asked how I got everything done. “Do you make a list and schedule everything?” he asked. My answer seemed to surprise him: “No. Guided by armies of angels,” I always say.

That is my way of describing how I try to stay open to what the day brings. I do not mean that planning is useless. A schedule can be a good tool. But there are too many variables in life to believe every plan will unfold exactly as expected.

Much of my real-estate work depends on the weather. I cannot control that. My retail store depends on employees, customers, deliveries, inventory, installers, and equipment. Merchandise may not arrive when expected. A customer may be out of state. An installer may get sick. A machine may break down.

Flexibility helps us respond to the cards we have been dealt. My father always says, “It will all work out the way it is supposed to. It always does.” I hold on to that encouragement. I have also learned that “working out” does not always mean everything happens the way I first wanted. Sometimes it means finding a responsible next step when the original plan changes.

The Catechism teaches that God’s providence does not exclude the action of creatures. God invites us to cooperate with Him through our choices and work (CCC 306–308). Trusting God is not passivity. We can plan carefully, do our part, adapt when circumstances change, and entrust the outcome to Him.

Flexibility is not the same as having no direction

Being flexible does not mean abandoning our responsibilities or changing our values whenever it is convenient. It means holding our plans with humility, recognizing what we can and cannot control, and choosing the good that is possible in the circumstances before us.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9). We make plans, but we remember that God sees more than we do. Saint James cautions us not to boast as if we control tomorrow: “If the Lord wills, we shall live and we shall do this or that” (James 4:15).

Prudence helps us decide how to respond. The Catechism describes prudence as the virtue that helps us discern our true good and choose the right means to achieve it (CCC 1806). Sometimes that means staying the course. Sometimes it means changing the plan. Sometimes it means pausing long enough to listen.

Family deserves our time

Above all these responsibilities, I am a father to my children and a husband. Sometimes the children get sick and I need to work from home. I am grateful for the freedom to do that.

It is easy to become so focused on making money that we miss what is most important. Work matters, but so do the people entrusted to our care. Our marriage needs attention, and our children need our presence. When they grow up and begin their own lives, the relationship between spouses continues to matter.

You can earn more money, but you cannot make more time. Make the most of the time you have with your family. The Catechism describes the family as a place where we learn love and where parents have a primary responsibility to educate their children (CCC 2221, 2223). That formation happens through daily life: the way we speak, listen, apologize, forgive, and make room for one another.

Parents are not called to control every choice their children will make. We are called to guide them, teach them the faith, model virtue, and help them grow toward the freedom and responsibility of adulthood. Each child has a personal vocation and must be treated with dignity.

A lesson after competition day

The other day I was driving my son home from his youth basketball league’s competition day. Earlier he had told me, “Dad, competition day is my favorite day of the season.” On the way home, though, he seemed disappointed.

Last year he won several awards and his team finished third in the league. This year the team hardly won a game, even though the players worked hard. On competition day he did not win an event. I could tell there was more to his disappointment than he was saying, and he began blaming his teammates.

I asked him gently, “Son, it seems like there may be more to it. You can be honest with me.” I began to realize that he wanted to make me proud.

So I asked, “When do you think Daddy was most proud of you?” He could not guess. I told him it was the day at his old school when he stood up for a younger child who was being bullied. My son was only six. He told the bully to stop, and the child was left alone.

What made me proud was not that my son won or looked brave in front of other people. It was that he noticed someone being hurt and tried to protect him. Jesus teaches us to love our neighbor (Matthew 22:39), and the parable of the Good Samaritan shows that love becomes real through compassionate action (Luke 10:25–37).

Competition can teach effort, teamwork, and how to handle disappointment. It should not teach a child that his worth depends on winning or on making a parent proud through performance. Our children need to know that we love them when they succeed and when they lose. We can encourage them to take responsibility for their actions while also helping them name their feelings and learn from the experience.

Children learn from what we do

As we spend time with our children, they learn from us. Some lessons are intentional; others come from the choices we make when we are tired, frustrated, or surprised. We reap what we sow, but this does not mean we can control every outcome. Children have their own freedom and must make their own choices.

Deuteronomy tells God’s people to speak of His commandments in the ordinary rhythms of family life, at home and along the way (Deuteronomy 6:6–7). Saint Paul tells parents not to provoke their children, but to bring them up with the Lord’s instruction (Ephesians 6:4). Teaching the faith is more than giving orders. It includes listening, example, patience, and repair when we get something wrong.

A Lenten conversation at the dinner table

That evening, my son and I sat down to dinner with my wife and daughter. We began talking about what each of them had given up for Lent. My daughter said she had given up fish. I wondered whether that was a meaningful sacrifice for her, since she did not enjoy most fish except tuna. I responded too quickly and let my frustration take over.

I told her, “You can’t fool God,” and reached for Jesus’ words about what comes out of a person’s mouth. Looking back, I could have listened first and asked her what she meant. A parent can teach about sincerity without shaming a child or assuming the worst about her motives.

Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 15:10–20 is about the moral condition of the heart. He explains that evil intentions, words, and actions come from within. The passage is not a direct ruling about choosing a personal Lenten sacrifice. The Church’s Lenten practices call Catholics to prayer, fasting, and almsgiving; the Catechism describes Lent as a penitential season of conversion (CCC 1438). A family can discuss how to choose a sincere practice that helps each person grow in love of God and neighbor.

That dinner also reminded me that timing matters. Earlier that day, I had asked my son when he thought I was most proud of him. At dinner, I asked my daughter the same question. I remembered the day she sat beside a classmate who had been teased about her appearance. My daughter encouraged her not to believe the cruel remarks and helped her feel less alone.

That is what I was proud of: her compassion. She recognized someone who was hurting and chose kindness. In the Beatitudes, Jesus blesses the merciful and the peacemakers (Matthew 5:7, 9). My daughter was still learning, as we all are, but I could see a good seed taking root.

Plant seeds with patience

Do not take time with your family for granted. Let your children see you learning and trying to live the Word. Plant the seed, but remember that growth takes time and does not happen by force.

In the parable of the sower, Jesus describes seed falling on good soil and bearing fruit (Mark 4:8). In context, the seed is the word of God, and the parable reminds us that people receive it differently. It is not a guarantee that every child will follow the exact path a parent imagines. Our role is to nurture the soil through prayer, love, teaching, example, and patience, while respecting the freedom God gives each person.

God’s providence can work through a conversation we did not plan, a schedule that changes, a disappointing game, or a moment at the dinner table. We may not understand the lesson immediately. We can stay attentive, ask forgiveness when needed, and keep choosing love.

A prayer for flexibility and family life

Heavenly Father, thank You for the time and people You have entrusted to me. Help me plan responsibly without becoming attached to having everything go my way.

Give me prudence when circumstances change, patience when I feel rushed, and humility to listen before I judge. Teach me to make time for my spouse and children, to encourage rather than shame, and to repair the moments when I fall short.

Help our family grow in faith, kindness, and truth. May our words and actions plant seeds of love, and may we trust You with the growth. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Conclusion

Flexibility is a way of meeting life with faith and good judgment. It does not mean having no plans, ignoring responsibilities, or assuming every event is exactly what God wanted. It means doing our part, adapting when we must, and looking for the loving and faithful response in the circumstances we have.

Make time for your family. Teach the faith through your example. Let children learn from success and disappointment without making their worth depend on either. When you react poorly, be willing to listen and make it right.

We cannot control every part of the journey. We can ask God for wisdom, follow Christ in the choices before us, and trust Him with what we cannot see. Sometimes the most important fruit grows from the ordinary moments we almost took for granted.